People always think making a Big Decision should take lots of time; that it should be something you ponder over, make pros and cons lists for and consult as many people that will listen about to make sure you aren’t making a terrible mistake. However, for me, the decision to leave university was a snap. The second the idea entered into my head and I registered that it was a realistic prospect, my mind was made up. I was leaving. I’m pretty sure it was the single most clear and happy thought I have ever had.
While the actual decision was made in the blink of an eye, there had been lots of influential things that had led to that moment. One of the main factors was that I was never sure if I wanted to go to university in the first place – big warning sign missed, I know! I was encouraged to apply by college and, as I wasn’t very interested in going, I just applied for the subjects that I was good at, English and Drama, at the best universities for them.
This is not a good way to apply for university.
Clearly, deep down, part of me did know this, however, as I decided to defer my place and take a year out. In theory this was to give me some time to make my mind up whether to accept the place I had been offered, or to reapply, or if I should give up on the whole uni thing all together and think of another plan. Throughout the entirety of my gap year, I didn’t have a serious think about going university once. Not even a little bit. And it’s not like I was backpacking across the Serengeti and therefore had more pressing things to think about (fresh water and shelter and poisonous snakes and all that.) No, I stayed at home, and I worked. I got a part time job in a jewellery shop and I loved it. I loved doing something different every day, meeting new people and just having a chat about their lives for ten minutes. Yes, there were bad days and rude (and often smelly) people to deal with but on the whole it was fun and challenging and rewarding, especially when it came to engagement rings; to play even a small part in such a happy moment in someone’s life was fab.
And this is why I want to leave uni. When August of my gap year came around I started buying mugs and duvet covers, not even thinking about what I was doing; going to uni was the next step in my current plan, therefore I did it. But now that I’m here I miss getting up in the morning to go and do something challenging, rather than rolling out of bed at half two to sit in a dull lecture, and then suffer through the awkward silence of a seminar in which no one talks, and then submitting a half arsed two thousand word essay every couple of weeks. My dislike for the course probably doesn’t help either. In Fresher’s week I chose to change my course from English and Drama to just straight English, as the only module I was looking forward to was not a dual honours course. But, that still didn’t help to hold my attention. I thought when you went to university you were meant to be fascinated by the things that you were learning, but I just feel bored to tears by the whole process.
So, this life might be for some people but it is not for me. I’m going to see out the whole year, so that I get a certificate and a grade to add to the C.V. I also want to do it for my own peace of mind, and to show people who will judge this decision – and no doubt there will be a few of them out there – I have really thought it through and that this really is the best thing for me.
honestly alice. 